Love is awesome – we won’t contest that. We could go into a long spiel, probably quoting the The Holiday, on how it defines us and changes the direction of our lives.
But let’s be honest romance, it’s not always what it’s cracked up to be. Things we often think will feel magical and perfect just don’t.
Personally, I blame rom coms.
First we brought you sexy things that are overrated. Now here are 21 romantic things that are a lot better in our heads than in reality.
Awwwwh. What a beautiful symbol of our love, darling. Something that will eventually wither and die, and I’ll have to throw in the bin.
2) Particularly roses
These are the flowers you buy when you want to be romantic and you don’t know them well enough to get them their favourite flower. Or your partner is feeling guilty about something.
3) Going on a cinema date
How am I meant to talk to you when I want to watch the film? If we chat also we’re just going to piss everyone else off.
4) Valentines Day
Urgh. Shouldn’t romance just come naturally? Why should there be a day when we’re expected to get our glad rags on and go to an overcrowded restaurant full of heart balloons and confetti?
It just feels so forced.
5) Facebook relationship status
Its very existence just causes unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Is it really worth the worry when your new beau doesn’t confirm your relationship request? Or insists that you two don’t need it at all?
Or if they hide it on Facebook and then tell you they genuinely ‘don’t know why that’s happened’. Yeah, you know who you are, and we know why.
6) Documenting your relationship on social media
It’s not just for our friends’ sake who might be sick of social PDAs that we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s for ours too.
Those photos and statuses may become painful reminders of a relationship past you’d rather forget.
7) Taking a bath or shower together
There’s just no room for the both of us here. Soap is just completely blocking my vision, and the shower head shoots water directly into my eyes when I look up to kiss you.
We should have just done this separately.
8) Rom coms
Let’s be honest – a lot of men don’t really enjoy them. And some of their messages about love are really twisted.
They don’t set the mood. Particularly when you’re worrying about accidentally knocking them over and setting your bedroom ablaze.
10) Kissing in the rain
I’m just getting wet and cold here. Can we go inside and snuggle?
Yes, yes. They’re exciting, once-in-a-lifetime thing. But if you’re the bride or groom, don’t deny that they can be enormously stressful.
12) Weddings if you’re single
All the love. All the couples. Somebody just pass us all the wine.
13) All that drama
We can definitely blame rom coms for this. They’ve put into our brains that constant sniping and arguments are the basis of a fully functioning romantic relationship.
Newsflash: they’re not.
14) Breakfast in bed
The bread crumbs in your sheets; the thought of orange juice staining your pillows. Just *shudder*.
Also after that video showing how many dust mites are in an average mattress, would you really want food near your bed now?
15) Getting a tattoo to immortalise your love
If The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cucoco quickie divorce and her having to get the date of her wedding day tattooed over with a butterfly on her neck shows anything, it’s that these tattoos are not a good idea.
You never know what could happen.
16) Watching fireworks together
The noise. The mud. The kids running around with sparklers.
You can hear the romance dying a painful death.
Christmas is always portrayed as this magical, romantic time of year in the movies. Mostly thanks to Love Actually.
MORE: This is what the cute kid from Love Actually looks like now
In reality you’re arguing about whose parents to see on which day. I mean, we spent Christmas at his folks’ place last year – it’s not fair!
18) Having children
You might have had fantasies about how wonderful and effortless having a family with this person would be – so technically, it is kinda a romantic fantasy. In a way.
Then you realise bringing up kids is actually really bloody hard.
19) Sharing food like Lady and the Tramp
That spaghetti sauce is going to go everywhere. And there’s no way you can make it look sexy.
20) Wearing similar outfits
It’s only funny around Halloween. Any other day it’s just a bit creepy.
21) Anything ‘his and hers’
It’s all going in the same wash anyway. Why bother?